I LOVE YOU. PART 2

      At some point in our lives we say these words "I LOVE YOU", yet we feel insecure hearing those words. Why? It's somewhat based directly or indirectly on diverse experiences of different individuals that shapes our mindsets that sometimes become our reality of insecurity upon hearing these words.

      Now let's talk experiences; I met a girl online a while back, we texted back and forth, went on lunch date, had conversation, weeks went by she was distant, Yes!, she was reserved, Yes! I could feel there was something she wasn't telling me, Yes!. After a while, she started opening up (her fears I’d rather not disclose), which i completely understood. We were getting somewhere i said to myself; i started planning my life with her in it,don't blame me i was in love, i had genuine intention with her, i really cared. It all went wrong suddenly, no calls,no texts, no nothing! Yes, you read right, we lost touch amidst my best efforts to reach her. Three months later,she surfaced back, i saw her post and to my delight i tried reconnecting with the beautiful heart i seemingly cared about, but we all know a lot could happen in 3 months. Anyways, i was curious, What happened! You ghosted on me,why? I asked her via text, ”Phone troubles she said" OK! i said, although i wasn't exactly satisfied but then i saw reasons. She could've played this right!, i kept thinking to myself; she could've sent me a text with a friend's phone or call me, of some sort. I deserved that much at least! But no, i had to wait 3 long months, it was mind fuckery to be honest, i stressed over the whole situation, again don't blame me, I was in Love! Anyways, all i had in mind at the time was to rekindle what i felt we had, so i made efforts to no avail. Guess what? Suddenly i got a text from her saying ''IF I'VE GOT SOMEONE ELSE I’M FREE".

Can you believe that? I felt my honesty trampled upon, i felt betrayed; I kept thinking maybe i wasn't good enough,maybe i was being played and we can all agree such feeling of being played or not being good enough hurts more than a breakup itself.

Now to the mind  fuckery part, it took me long 3 years to start to truly feel again, because i wasn't emotionally ready to deal with such experiences and to be honest i had doubts about people's genuine interest in a relationship.

These kind of experiences could shape ones mind negatively on relationships, it could make one feel insecure in a relationship or getting into a relationship with someone who's honestly in love with him/her, one starts doubting everything their supposed lover says or doubting themselves if they're ever good enough for anyone or perhaps to be in a relationship. It's difficult to ascertain what goes on in ones mind at any given time but we can all agree emotional trauma hits bad when we have to pretend to the outside world that we seemingly aren't hurt from a heartbreak. A lot of people undervalue the power of words. "words are fragile like an egg, so we have to be careful what we say to people, not just in relationship context but also in our everyday lives, because a said word can't be unsaid.

Udx ✍️