If, however, there are genuine compatibility issues between the two of you, it’s best to rip off the bandaid and end your relationship before things get more serious.
Well,wishing you the best of luck anyways!
But back to the issue, are you stuck in a casual relationship with a partner who seems uninterested in a deep commitment Or maybe you are the one with the commitment issues,it doesn't matter who the problem is from but getting the solution is paramount.
The first step for you is to take some quiet, uninterrupted time to reflect on your fears. Ask yourself;what exactly am I afraid of?See if you can allow yourself to be curious, open, and honest about your answers. Don’t judge the reactions you notice, just pay attention to them.
What does this question evoke for you? What does your head say? What does your heart say? What does your gut say?
It can be difficult to understand why a lover doesn't want to commit or why these commitment issues seem to arise time after time. You may think that your friend-with-benefits has the " fear of commitment" preventing them from taking on the responsibility of a serious relationship or marriage. There could be multiple reasons for the hesitation, but here are some causes of commitment issues:
1. You’re Afraid The Relationship Won’t Change
So many people stay in relationships hoping that things will improve once they hit certain milestones. Some like;once we move in together, he’ll want to have sex with me more frequently,once we’re engaged, she won’t be so controlling. People and relationships absolutely can change, but you shouldn’t commit to a relationship that doesn’t feel like a good fit right now. If you’ve got a list of things you’re hoping will change in your relationship, this is probably a sign that the compatibility is the issue, not the fear of commitment.
2. You’re Afraid Of Being Loved
A lot of people end up pulling away from relationships because they’re afraid of letting themselves be loved. Other variations of this dynamic include being afraid of being vulnerable and being afraid that you’re not “worthy” of love. For as badly as most of us crave love, it’s also terrifying to receive it.
Do you find yourself fighting against your partner’s attempts to express their feelings for you? Do you find yourself criticizing things about your partner that are actually good qualities (for example,it’s annoying that she’s so caring?).Generally, this boils down to the fear of commitment. It’s more about letting in love than it is about your specific partner.It is normal to be scared of loving and the fear of not being loved in return can be greater and ruin relationships but that doesn't mean you should be scared of committing.
3. You’re Afraid Of Recreating Other Relationship Patterns
all seen or experienced examples of unhealthy relationships, whether they were our own relationships from the past, our friends’ relationships, or our parent’s relationships. The roots of this fear can go either way, so it’s important to dig a little deeper into the specifics that come up for you. Are there actual similarities between your relationship and these other relationships?
For example, maybe you’ve realized that you date people who tend to be clingy or overly needy, and you’re starting to notice those qualities emerge in your current partner. If those patterns are present in your relationship, it’s probably a sign of a compatibility issue. But let’s say you worry about getting as bored with your partner as your parents seem with each other, despite the fact that your partner has always been spontaneous and engaging.
4. You’re Afraid Of The Relationship Ending
One of the reasons why it can be hard to fully commit to a relationship is because there’s always the possibility of things ending in a bad way or you getting dumped. The more deeply we let ourselves fall in love with another person, the higher the chances we have of getting our hearts broken.Some people will end up trying to talk themselves out of relationships.
In conclusion,we are all rather scared of giving too much and receiving little and I think that's the fundamental source of commitment issues.
We need to all realize that once you love someone, give as much of yourself as you can, you're rewarding yourself rather than the person for we are building ourselves to be awesome spouses.
And, even if it doesn't work out great, you've earned more than the person cause your heart will always be lovely and always be chosen.
Being in the right relationship involves a lot of commitment for it breeds security,stability and happiness. Yet, don't over think it,let it come to you freely!
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The Fear Of Commitment
Reviewed by Africanweirdo.blogspot.com
on
August 29, 2018
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I absolutely agree that fear can hold us back! I was definitely hurting a bit when I met my (now) husband, but he helped me work through these fears and now we've been married several years!
ReplyDeleteSo true! Commitment is one of the most important issues to consider as a couple.
ReplyDelete